Caliban's Bar

a spaceman's drinking song
brought to earth by
dylan jeninga

[Webmaster's advice to any temperance group intending to campaign for System-wide Prohibition: read the following, then realistically assess your chances]


Venusian gin
and beer from Charon
Tequila from Titan
And whisky from Mars
Every world ‘round the Sun
Has its scotch, wine or rum
We serve the whole System
At Caliban’s Bar

Caliban Resky
Set up the saloon
He was once a Patrolman
From the Jovian Moons
They say he put many
A man in the clink
But if you ask him
He prefers pouring drinks


At the end of the day
From the helium mines
Folks come to the bar
Looking for a good time
They like a good brawl
But their tab’s always paid
And if you need help
You can count on their aid


One night, a young boy
Was begging for food
By his looks, a good meal
Would have done him some good
An old miner obliged him
And the kid thanked good grace
That was when two Patrolmen
Stepped into the place


“We’re taking him with us”
The bigger one said
“He’s indentured, with
Nine more years left on his debt.
Mercury Manufacturing
owns him ‘til then
Although after this
it’ll probably be ten.”


Caliban bellowed,
“I don’t think you are.
You boys stretched yourselves
Just a little too far,
Mercury is a Core world
Out here on the Rim
You've no jurisdiction
Just try an’ take him.”


A few guns were brandished
But the lawmen were beat
They quickly retreated
Back onto the street
And as for the boy
You can find him most nights
At the bar, serving cocktails
And breaking up fights


Venusian gin
and beer from Charon
Tequila from Titan
And whisky from Mars
Every world ‘round the Sun
Has its scotch, wine or rum
We serve the whole System
At Caliban’s Bar

spot the bar in the corner

[acknowledgement to CathcartSpider2 for the picture]

Solar System Heritage